Places, which fascinate me the most are airports. I like to look at all those people, who hurry up there. Some are trying to hide their wistfulness and their tears. Other are defining themselves through the value of their wristwatches, the cut of their hair, the brilliance of their shoes or the valuable documents they have in their briefcase. And there are those, who didn’t reach the long desired plane into vacations or on the way back home…
I can watch all this, while i wait hours for my departure to croatia. And while looking at all those people, who are caught in their own world, i start to think of my own life.
Often, i am also caught in my own world – in my world of uncertainty, perfectionism and caring about what others think about me… I am a prisoner of myself.
I am on my way to Ludbreg in Croatia to take part in a social project week with youngsters. My task will be to give them a spiritual impulse every morning. But how can i speak of love, when I am caught in my own feelings? My head keeps rotating, into it’s time for the departure to Croatia.
Arriving there, i am warmly welcomed by the young people, who are greedy to learn something new in their life. The subject of the following week will be the work with disabled children.
I am still worried a lot: I’m afraid, to make something wrong and what the youngsters will think of me… I felt unconfident and in this condition we drove to the first place we wanted to visit: a special school for mentally disabled children.
When we were arriving at that school, suddenly a boy ran into me, hugged me and laughed at me. Thanks to this simple, cordial gesture i felt unbelievable welcomed and accepted. Yes, i felt like Jesus himself would hug me and say to me: “Stop being uncertain. The only thing that matters is that i love you.”
Together with the children we went into their class room. There we listened to the religion theatre, who tried to convey his class something didactically. Dorian, a 15. years old boy with physical deficits, imitated a train all the time. Suddenly we raised his hand and asked: “What happens after death?”. “We will all come into paradise”, answered the teacher”. “And what is paradise”, Dorian continued to ask? “Jesus has prepared everything for us, which is good and brings us joy. The paradise is an wonderful place”, replied the teacher. “And are there also trains in paradise?”Now the teacher had a big grin on his face. “Yes of course. And Jesus himself is driving the train!”
Dorian is starting to clap his hands. He laughs and says:” Jesus loves me so much that he will drive the train for me”.
In this moment, my heart was filled with joy again. The sentence of the boy in all his simplicity was the answer to the question i was lugging around all the time. Let god steer the train of your life, Luiz, and you will be free like this young people. The certainty, to be loved from god. The certainty that he will lead me through my whole life. This certainty gives me a freedom, which I sought my whole life and which i haven’t felt until now in this form.
This experience accompanied me the whole week. Every encounter with these children showed me, how simple god is and my confidence grew that he loves me with his unendless love. I tried to share my joy with the youngsters and every time, when we shared our experiences it felt like god himself was present with his love. The most beautiful thing was that also every single young people could feel this.
On my way back home I wanted to tell everybody from this love of god. I couldn’t hide my big grin; the joy in me was too great. I believe, I experienced the same as Dorian: “Jesus loves me that much, that he himself drives the train for me”.